I am not a vegan.

I am not a vegan! Whew, glad I got that off my chest. I needed to assure you of my status as an omnivore before we begin.

Seven days a week, my kitchen puts out vegan meals. Breakfast is usually cereal and soy milk or oatmeal with jam. Sometimes I have a bagel; vegan, of course. It’s because my wife is a vegan that we keep vegan items and, because we’re not real estate moguls, we’re not wealthy, either. So we tend to eat the same thing.

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling in the mood, I purchase a carton of eggs. I used to buy bacon, but we had to break up (the bacon and I) after the house began smelling of it. So, ninety-nine percent of the time… I’m a vegan. But I’m not a vegan! I have a whey protein powder that I mix with coconut water after my morning runs. Not vegan! See? Sometimes I put an egg on my oatmeal! See? Do you see?

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